Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Almost Christmas, Almost Over

I am really trying to make it through the holidays as a family in tact.  One last time.  We are broken, pretending to be whole.  It's hard.  Being in the house together knowing after the first of the year, it's over.  It's like being on vacation, enjoying the time but knowing it will come to end.  Thank goodness for our children.

We have a houseful of kids non stop.  Teenage boys.  And they are hungry and I feed them and then they are hungry again.  It does help to pass the time and bring life into the holidays.  They make us laugh.  A good distraction from reality.  My soon to be ex is not happy.  He is mad.  I understand his anger.  I have lived through the mad and the hurt.  We are at different places in life.  I am enjoying the family and tree and he is mad.

I will say that I am still sad though.  Especially looking back.  We used to be invited to parties and dinners and out with friends.  Which I love.  It makes holidays fun, feeling the love.  I am. Thankful to enjoy my family during this time but miss the warmth of other people.  We stopped getting invited because the husband would be made to go and he would be miserable.  He doesn't want to interact.  He wants to be home.  Do not want to be social, he says.  Sad!!! But now, he is changing.  He wants to go out, have a drink, invite friends.  Unbelievable as I think of all the times that could of happened.  Too late.  No one is inviting us.  He knows it is his doing.  So, I continue to enjoy my family, embrace the friends I have.  All the while thinking it's almost Christmas, almost over.

Gotta go wrap a zillion trillion presents!

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