Messy Monday

Friday night I had the excitement of seeing an old friend.  She is on her 3rd marriage.  That got me thinking, why 3 husbands?  Really?  I understand having the first one, married for love and he is the practice husband.  Then the second, you think you have it figure out.  But after that, what are you possibly thinking?  Then I had a drink and thought about a few couples I know that their third and final marriages have been the last.  Happy and in love.  

Is that something I want? To be that vulnerable again?  Is it worth putting myself out there.  I mean I know the marriage I am in, is not working at all.  But geez, can I subject myself to the heartbreak again? Not that I want to be alone or married three times either.  Sugar daddy?  Marry for money?  Just putting it out there.  But I don't think I could do that.  And there goes my brain, thinking about all of that.  I believe in love, the first kiss, the make outs, the dating.  I want the marriage. 

A few weeks back at one of my first visits with Katie, my medium, we talked about me being separated.  I have been part of a couple since I was 19.  It's scary and crazy.  We talked and she stared at the side of my right hand and assured me I would marry again.  Just one more time. Phew!!